When things feel out of control, make a plan
How to cope with the fear of uncertainty
War. Covid. Fear for the health and safety of our families, our friends, ourselves. It all adds up to many of us feeling uncertain about the future.
We want life to be predictable. When we know what’s going to happen, we feel safer. How do we survive in an unpredictable world? How do we create predictability when we feel so afraid?
Plan for what is difficult while it is easy, do what is great while it is small.~ Sun Tzu
Have a plan
When I was younger, I didn’t put a lot of thought into the future. I was raised to believe that the world could end at any time. I lived with fear so I didn’t plan too far ahead. Then life happened and I’ve learned there’s wisdom in having some plans in place. Make plans for what matters.
Focus on solvable worries
Knowing what you can and can’t control can alleviate worry. Headspace.com suggests “If a worry is solvable, chart a plan of action that starts small.”
I tend to worry about not having enough money. I suppose it comes from having so little of it in my twenties. To control my financial anxiety, I enlisted the help of a financial advisor.
She and I discovered that most of my worry was caused by spending more than I was saving. She helped me create a financial plan that included building up an emergency fund. I started small and continued to put a little aside each month. Having an emergency fund in place gives me peace of mind.
Calm yourself down
According to ADAA, one way to cope with the anxiety of uncertainty is to seek as much information as possible. Watching the news gives us a sense of knowing but actually increases our anxiety.
I’ve deliberately stopped watching newscasts. I’m selective of what I read online and stick to trusted sources to stay informed. Turning off the news hasn’t made me less involved or less compassionate.
Making a decision to stop watching the news doesn’t mean you’re putting your head in the sand. It can help you keep calm and carry on.
Do something
Abraham Lincoln is quoted as saying “Actions speak louder than words.” Tragedies spark strong emotional responses. When we see others suffering, we want to help and that’s a good thing. The act of giving can actually make you happier.
Find a way to give. Give with your heart but also with your head. Do your research. Donate to a reputable organization.
Life is a good teacher, and we’re learning valuable lessons. Tolerate the inevitability of uncertainty. Accept what is happening for the time being. Above all, breathe.
Dawn Jardine is a 60-something-writer who is committed to sharing how women can flourish as they age.
